Solo, single and in your 30s: Travellers, isn’t it time you settle down?

Single? Travelling alone? Hitting your 30s or getting well into it? US TOO! And what a wonderful feeling that is supposed to be, right? So why on earth are we constantly being asked these questions… questions that even WE sometimes find us asking ourselves too?

“Isn’t it time you settle down?”
“But don’t you want a relationship?”
“Don’t you think the clock is ticking?”
“Don’t you ever get lonely without a partner or kids?”

Our life has never been so defined by relationships and age, but the longer we’ve been in lockdown, that niggling voice in our head has been growing louder. Sometimes it even feels like our adventure-filled time has passed, and that we’re just left alone at home, restlessly planted in one place to reflect on our present life. 

Are those voices right, after all? Have we run out of time? Are our travelling days behind us now, and what’s left for us is settling down, getting married, taking care of a family for the rest of our lives? One girl that has heard these questions too many times is one of our regular bloggers Sarah. She explains to us how she’s gone through it all and still doesn’t get affected by society’s views, and how many travellers she meets along the way are in the same position:

solo female edge of cliff contemplation

The new generation of travellers

I remember travelling around the Middle East a couple of years ago, and I’d say within about 5 minutes of meeting someone new I am asked if I am married. This is a culture thing; many women my age here have already been married a fair few years. When I reply I am not married, they always ask why. Other than the fact of asking a 28-year-old woman – who is travelling alone – why she hasn’t found a man to sweep her off her feet yet, I find this question hard to answer. Not because I don’t know the answer. The answer is very clear to me: because I don’t want to get married yet (maybe not ever). I find it hard to answer as all I want to say back is “marriage doesn’t equal achievement”.

Something that bothers me about today’s society is that we all seem to live within a made up time frame, and as women we have even more pressure to live our life according to this frame. We are told we should finish school by a certain age, marry by another, and have children soon after. I’ve never been one to conform to these rules, and recently I’ve discovered there is somewhat of a breakthrough to this way of living. There is actually A LOT of us with a big ambition to see the world, to follow our dreams, to be a part of something bigger than ourselves, and to make our own individual rules. There’s a new generation appearing.

The age of 30 used to be when the ticking time bomb started. The age where you should have your ‘s#*%’ together: family, job, house, money. 30 now is celebrated as a new chapter, away from your younger years, heading into your mature(er) years and ready to live the life you’ve created for yourself!
mountain top hiking scenery solo female travel

Don’t grow up, it’s a trap.

I met a woman recently who had just turned 40. She was divorced, no kids, and travelling the world. She beamed when we spoke about life and laughed when we spoke about the past. “I wish I realised 10 years ago that life isn’t about trying to conform to these made up rules. I started making my own rules when I went into my 30 years and my life did a 360. I realised that actually, I didn’t want kids and that my husband had more of a negative than positive effect on my life. I started to do what I always wanted to do, yet never thought I was allowed. It’s funny to think I used to let these made up rules control my life and restricted myself from my dreams.”

She had a beautiful soul, and I took so much away from that. It’s ok to be 30 and not be married. It’s ok to be 35 and not want children or to want five. It’s ok to be 40 and have not completed your education yet, to not know what job you want.  It’s OK not to be where everyone else thinks you should be at your age. If you wanna be a traveller, keep travelling, or keep preparing for your next adventures if you can’t travel now (a lot of us are on the same boat together). And if you’re not sure yet but feel like something’s missing in your life? That’s completely fine too, you have a lifetime to discover your passion! Come and join the solo, single and 30ish club with us, we promise you it’s A LOT of fun. So why not take a look through our host list of over 50,000 worldwide experiences now and see where your adventures could take you this year… and the rest of your life!?

tropical adventure woman travel solo pineapple sunset paradise

millenialsnon conformistsocietynew generation30travel bugsettle downsingle travellersolo travellerwanderlustage

About Sarah

Sarah helps with the Workaway blog. She left her secure job and daily routine in the UK 5 years ago to pursue a life of volunteering and travel. Throughout her work as a freelance writer and scuba ins... show more...

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